For Starters

I feel like I wanted to start this blog as a way to get all my inner "demons" out on the table and put them to bed, for good. All I've ever wanted to truely achive is to lose weight. I don't know how many thoughts I've had that have started with this..."when I lose weight"... As if that's what I needed for my life to start. I can't do anything until that happens. The question is how much? After I lose, 30, 50 100?! That's when I will magically wake up and life will be all better and all my problems are fixed? Yeah, I"m thinking that's not going to be the case. I have to start living long before that comes into play. I use that as an excuse to not try things. That's what I tell myself,"well I'm too fat to be taken seriously as a singer/songwriter" so I never full achieved my potenial in that arena. I'm too fat to find someone to love me for me, so I need to conform to whatever to get attention. I'm so blessed that God brought my husband, Shawn, into my life and showed me that I AM worth loving, just the way I am. And all these barriers that I've convinced myself are stopping me from truely living, are just my fear of failure. The thing is you have to "fail" sometimes in order to learn and to grow as a person. It's a lesson I've learned very slowly but I am learning it. I won't achieve my weight loss goals until I stop making excuses, deal with what's hold me back in the first place, learn the lessons God wants me to, and move on. So that's the point of this blog. Trying to work out these issues, one day at a time!